Misplaced Grace

Getting Skeptical About Woo Juice Part 1:For The Credulous Asshole Troll- Neil C. Reinhardt

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Last week I wrote a eulogy to one of my personal heroes who died of cancer.  Regardless of the political views of my readers and Canadians in general, most people are happy to agree that Jack Layton was a very special human being- someone worthy of a fond farewell.

I would like to point out that I have more than a few readers who hold political views in diametric opposition to Jack’s vision- and each and every one of those people had the courtesy to let my post stand as a testament to someone they knew I respected deeply.  I might have even tolerated a right wing diatribe about how my “pinko socialist” hero was plotting to ruin Modern Western Civilization.  Jack would have liked that.  Being accused of being “unrealistic”, “utopian”, and “socialist” would have made him proud.

Meet The Troll

Enter Neil C. Reinhardt- a professional atheist troll who spouts pathetic and misguided conspiracy theories because people don’t believe that he has stumbled across a MLM (Multi Level Marketing- aka Pyramid scheme) product that cures every single ailment known to man.  He rails against “skeptics” for not making the effort to credulously accept that his “miracle tropical beverage”  can cure any and every known disease and symptom.  Skepticism is to be lauded until it bumps heads with his faith in fruit juice. Fruit juice that apparently tastes like licking testicle sweat off of a turd. (That is how you know it works- why else would people ingest such foul tasting swill?)

Neil apparently thinks that a very personal post about a very personal subject is the perfect place to insert his delusional ramblings about how the medical establishment are covering up the cure-all effects of ingesting and topically applying the fruit juice equivalent of equine effluent.  Apparently I’m to assume that his 15 year foray into faith-healing is supposed to make me run out and buy his snake oil.  Here is the blathering, disjointed ramblings deposited in the comment section of my post:

What makes me both Sad & MAD is if the Lame Stream Media is not in some kind of a conspiracy between them Doctors and Drug companies, he may still be alive!  IF you know another way to discribe how a “Natural Healing Miracle” which very effectively treats and/or cures over 90 different injuries and illnesses both on the insides and the outsides of our bodies is NOT widely known?

For FIFTEEN YEARS i have been drinking daily & when needed, using topically. what I consider to be a true MIRACLE!  (And it is a “Junior Miracle” when this Agnostic Atheist Activist calls any thing a “miracle.”)  For some FOURTEEN Years I have tried over and over again to get some news organization do the necessary in-depth research to verify what is so good it even after 15 years,  AMAZES ME!

There are some 300 brands out there, this is not a ad, it is VALUABLE information.  It is the juice of a fruit grown in the tropics all around the world and thus has many names. The one it is most known as NONI JUICE!  I am 76, started drinking it when I was 62 and I have NOT had any of the typical Aches and Pains of age since! Still do not need eye glasses, no more sore muscles or any Flu. Better Sleep and Dreams, STOPS the pain of burns when it is applied!

And, drinking Noni Juice will decrease a persons desire to smoke to where they have NO Desire left!   My experience is that it is around 80% as effective as morphine for pain and it BOOSTS our immune systems OVER  150%!!  So can someone give me a good reason WHY something which many MILLIONS KNOW what I have said about it is true is NOT as well known as I sumit somthing this great should be?  I believe if every person did know all about the really fantastic things Noni Juice does, the Drug companies would lose MANY TRILLIONS of Dollars!

I’ve decided that rather than just deleting his comment and writing it off as just a socially inept faux pas by a crotchety old man on the verge of dementia, I would take the time to give his post the proper skeptical treatment it deserves.  Let’s begin, shall we?

What makes me both Sad & MAD is if the Lame Stream Media is not in some kind of a conspiracy between them Doctors and Drug companies, he may still be alive!

First thing is first- If you want someone to take you seriously, don’t call the media the “Lame Stream Media”, that’s so five years ago.  

There is no conspiracy between the media, doctors and drug companies.  If a natural product is proven to have real medical benefit, drug companies will formulate and patent drugs using it as a main ingredient and in the process line their pockets with billions more dollars.  Maybe they will argue that the FDA or other regulatory agency should consider the natural product questionable for consumption (see Stevia)- then I might see a conspiracy.  As it stands, drug companies are only too happy to harness the power of miracle drugs- for better or for worse.

Doctors have to be careful how they present products to patients.  Unlike you, Neil, they have professional licenses that prevent them from just making shit up.  They actually have to be forthright and honest about what the proven effects of products are, they can’t just shout in ALL CAPS that it is fan-fucking-tastic!!!  My doctor, for instance, suggested once that I take St. John’s Wort- and rightly described it as a mild anti-depressant

As for the “Lame Stream Media”, rest assured that there are plenty of woo peddlers out there- and the LSM is only too happy to oblige them.  Just because none of them have shouted from the rooftops in support of your brand of horseshit does not mean it will never happen.  Rest assured, some pathetic research lackey at a major network will be rushed for a segment for the evening newscast and stumble across your “miracle-piss” one of these days.

Can I ask you this you credulous half-witted ass-hat: What cancer did Jack Layton die of?  Do you even know?  What makes you think that fruit juice could have averted his death?  We will get to the specifics of this claim in my follow up post.

IF you know another way to discribe how a “Natural Healing Miracle” which very effectively treats and/or cures over 90 different injuries and illnesses both on the insides and the outsides of our bodies is NOT widely known?

Does your fruit juice cause you to lose the ability to form proper sentence structure, Neil?  Should we put that on the warning label?  Specifically, which of the 90 different ailments did Jack suffer from?  I call bullshit.

For FIFTEEN YEARS i have been drinking daily & when needed, using topically. what I consider to be a true MIRACLE!  (And it is a “Junior Miracle” when this Agnostic Atheist Activist calls any thing a “miracle.”)  For some FOURTEEN Years I have tried over and over again to get some news organization do the necessary in-depth research to verify what is so good it even after 15 years,  AMAZES ME!

Srsly? FIFTEEN years?  Holy mother of God incarnate!  I would have just been like “Oh, tl;dr, who gives a flying…” but since you put it in ALL MOTHERFUCKING CAPS like that, it totally seems amazing!! I’ve gone 15 years before with no major health issues, but FIFTEEN YEARS- shit, that is like the same amount of time-but better- cause you shouted it in ALL CAPS!!!

I’m getting a little verklempt….talk amongst yourselves, I’ll give you a topic. Neil C. Reinhardt is neither agnostic nor an activist…..discuss.

There are some 300 brands out there, this is not a ad, it is VALUABLE information.  It is the juice of a fruit grown in the tropics all around the world and thus has many names. The one it is most known as NONI JUICE!  I am 76, started drinking it when I was 62 and I have NOT had any of the typical Aches and Pains of age since! Still do not need eye glasses, no more sore muscles or any Flu. Better Sleep and Dreams, STOPS the pain of burns when it is applied!

And, drinking Noni Juice will decrease a persons desire to smoke to where they have NO Desire left!   My experience is that it is around 80% as effective as morphine for pain and it BOOSTS our immune systems OVER  150%!!

I’m glad, Neil, that this is not an ad- because if it was- it would be the equivalent of parking a sausage cart outside a PETA convention.  VALUABLE, when spelled in ALL-CAPS, must have a different meaning than “valuable”- since one can hardly call the information you offer even “somewhat helpful”.

I’ going to, for the sake of fairness, investigate your claims about the tropical swill known as Noni Juice.  You do want us “skeptics” to be “skeptical”, right?  To not just brush aside a claim but honestly and forthrightly investigate it, correct?  Or are you saying that people should be rightly skeptical of some things, like Gods, but ignorantly credulous whenever you cough out a personal anecdote? My next post will cover this in more depth, but let’s have an overview, shall we?

Noni Juice- The Slightly Useful Juice From A Mildly Useful Fruit

Noni (M. citrifolia) is a tropical tree related to the coffee plant.  The tree bears fruit all year round with a disgustingly foul odor while ripening.  It is affectionately known to locals as “cheese fruit” or “vomit fruit” since the fruit smells vaguely like a teenager’s unwashed socks after drunkenly stumbling through the puke stained hallways of a week-long house party.  Sounds tasty already!

Turns out, the fruit is primarily considered a famine food, used by people only when they are so hungry that they would eat just about anything- one step below eating half rotten rat carcasses but one step above drinking goat urine.   Some cultures use the fruit as a staple food, and almost all cultures in M. citrifolia’s indigenous range use it for the purposes of traditional medicine.  I intend to write a follow up post that discusses this at more depth.

Neil says that noni juice is a cure all for various ailments that he has never experienced since sacrificing his taste buds to woo.  What he doesn’t tell you is that he is a very active senior- someone who has various other reasons not to expect poor health.  Noni is just the woo that gets the false positive.  Let’s look at his laundry list of claims:

So can someone give me a good reason WHY something which many MILLIONS KNOW what I have said about it is true is NOT as well known as I sumit somthing this great should be?  I believe if every person did know all about the really fantastic things Noni Juice does, the Drug companies would lose MANY TRILLIONS of Dollars!

I can give you a good reason Neil.  Because your claims are anecdotal and not backed by any reputable research or science.  What studies have been done on Vomit-Fruit Juice have shown it to be not much better than placebo in treating various illnesses.  It is a scam, one that you believe because you invested you hard earned money in.   But I’m a generous guy.  I’m about to give your swill the treatment it deserves. My next post will be a compilation of all the unfounded claims and scientific information I can gather on your unpalatable Magic Woo Swill.  I’ll make it my life’s work to get my post on noni juice to page one on a Google search.

You, Neil C. Reinhardt, are a credulous asshole troll, and you barked up the wrong fucking tree.


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