From Reputable Source: Evolution Finally Disproved

Posted on March 2, 2011. Filed under: Atheism, Humour, Religion, Science |

I owe my creationist friends a humble apology.

It seems that evolution is observably false after all…..

 

Eons Of Darwinian Evolution Somehow Produce Mitch

Mitch Szabo

ALBUQUERQUE, NM—The process of evolution, through which single-celled organisms slowly developed over billions of years into exponentially more sophisticated forms of life, has inexplicably culminated in local Albuquerque resident Mitch Szabo, leading evolutionary biologists reported Monday.

According to baffled sources within the scientific community, the exact same mechanisms responsible for some of nature’s most spectacularly ingenious adaptations have apparently also produced a 35-year-old office assistant who has only worn pants that actually fit him a total of five times in his adult life.

“The identical processes that have given us the remarkable camouflage of the stick insect and the magnificent plumage of the bird-of-paradise have, it would seem, also given us a man who cannot scramble an egg,” University of Pennsylvania biologist Ann Goldwyn-Ross said. “Despite evolution’s emphasis on the inheritance and replication of advantageous traits, a man walks among us today who sweats profusely in any temperature and went to see Anger Management in theaters twice.”

Read on……

From the Onion.

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7 Responses to “From Reputable Source: Evolution Finally Disproved”

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I hope that now people will finally realize the truth!

Stupid atheists.

Seriously, how can anyone think all this happened by chance? Just look at the trees! Look at your brain! What marvel.

the reason people believe in evolution is the fact that there is TONS of evidence. Granted, the missing link is a big hole in the theory but there is a lot more evidence to prove that than there is to prove of an afterlife. Some of the most brilliant people humans have seen contributed to this theory so obviously its not so stupid. Jesus said do not judge others maybe you should do some reading.

So sarcasm isn’t your thing, huh?

Ex-squeeze me…

Oh man, classic!

it seems like the writer is trying to insult this man in any way possible. what makes you think you are better than him? people cannot change who they are you should accept and love people, not degrade those you find inferior. what an asshole.

and second to ‘some musician’ the reason people believe in evolution is the fact that there is TONS of proof. Granted, the missing link is a big hole in the theory but there is a lot more evidence to prove that than there is to prove of an afterlife. Some of the most brilliant people humans have seen contributed to this theory so obviously its not so stupid. Jesus said do not judge others maybe you should do some reading.

Spencer,

Lol I’m sorry if I inadvertently offended you. This was a publication from The Onion, a site which only does satire. In keeping with the tone of the article, I adopted a similar demeanor. Like George, I too am an atheist and also believe in evolution.🙂

Spencer,
The Onion is a satirical website, and though I agree that mocking people is wrong, “Mitch” doesn’t really exist; I think this makes it humourous. The point of the article is to take a lighthearted poke at some of the claims made by creationists without directly addressing them.


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