Daily Horoscope: Saturn Is In Aquarius And Yet You’re Still A Giant Dick

Posted on July 16, 2010. Filed under: Astrology and Related Bunk, Internet Etiquette, Irony in the Title, Personal, Science, Trolls |

Jamie Funk has hijacked my favorite blog.

Jamie Funk is an astrologer, and by that virtue alone he is also a quack.  I’m sure he is a fantastic father, a loving partner to his spouse, maybe even a nice bloke to sit down with over a pint of suds.

None of these facts take away from the fact that he charges folks money to tell them what the heavens are doing in their lives, and the basis for all his advice is absolute crap.  It might be good advice, it might even be sage advice, but it is advice that is derived from drawing semi-random and completely irrelevant chords in a circle and then generating utterly vague predictions about their future.

Even better, he likes to make a habit of taking known events and explaining how his method predicts that they would happen.  It’s silly really, because:

  1. If he does have a teachable and consistent method, he can only choose those events that confirm his method and avoid those events that refute it.
  2. He can choose only those planets and movements that confirm the event and set aside those that are inconsistent with the event.
  3. If he has no consistent method, he can just make stuff up that sounds real astrologyish and show that his method explains any event.

My guess is that if someone asked him to pick a day in the near future, any day at all, that had lots of astrological significance happening, and make a real concrete, falsifiable prediction about what would happen that day he would dodge the offer or outright decline.

He should be able to make a prediction like:

On July 30, 2010 at 4:57PM PST an earthquake will strike the city of San Francisco, injuring thousands.


The MaxMillions Draw for Friday, July 16th,2010  in Canada will be won by a Pisces, born on March 12th, 1979 at about 4:26 AM EST.

He won’t make any specific predictions, because he knows that they can be falsified, and as a result he would be proven false.  How about if he made 20 predictions over the next 9 months and he only had to get a hit on 25% of them?  I suspect he wouldn’t do that either.


Because Jamie knows that what he does is pure guesswork.  There is nothing more than entertainment value to the money he bilks from his poor shills.

I’m sure, if Jamie reads this, he will ignore it, or attack something other than my key points:

  1. You cannot make testable, falsifiable predictions using your method
  2. You can offer no peer-reviewed research backing up the claim that any method of astrology is accurate in making predictions
  3. You use your method to explain things we already know happened and therefor there is no way to independently verify the method.

So Jamie, if you’re reading this, understand that I am not attacking your methods, I’m not even attacking astrology, and I’m certainly not attacking you.  I’m calling astrology out for what it is-a giant load of bunk that is no more valid than just making up advice for people off the cuff.  I’m asking you to stop dodging the issue, “shit or get off the pot”, so to speak.   If you don’t want to answer these concerns, which are the exact same ones made by Jason in his post-then stop hijacking my favorite blog- go back to entertaining your audience.  Don’t be surprised though, if we call you out again for misrepresenting reality.

Jamie Funk’s Horoscope for Saturday, July 17th 2010-  There is a foreign body entering Uranus.  If you relax a bit more today, you might enjoy the experience.


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9 Responses to “Daily Horoscope: Saturn Is In Aquarius And Yet You’re Still A Giant Dick”

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Awww, your favorite blog? I’m flattered!

Also, damn you, you couldn’t have picked April 12th?

You most certainly are my favorite blog. I pondered a long while over whether or not cross posting on this was going to offend you or not. I hope you are O.K. with it. I really thought that I had something to add and posting to your blog, this would have been too long.
I just pulled that date out of my ass, but the date of the earthquake in SF is my birthday. Just so you know, that’s not my birthday wish…
You don’t strke me as the type of guy who buys a maxmillions ticket, so I think it would be especially surprising if you won…

No way, dude, you have every right to be in this fight. Anyone with a vested interest in reality does. If you want to join, I can’t stop you. And I surely don’t care that you put your two cents on your blog, that’s what it’s there for.

[…] other takes on this situation that you should probably read. George W of Misplaced Grace – Daily Horoscope: Saturn Is In Aquarius And Yet You’re Still A Giant Dick sinned34 of Evil is Underrated – People braver than I You’re both on my blogroll now, […]

Oh shit…You are sooo going to get smacked down dude – they aren’t fucking married yet!!!11!!


Seriously though, that was rather fun and reasonably succinct. I will definitely have to add you to my links…

Yeah, Marina posted on my site and informed me they are just boyfriend and girlfriend thus far.

[…] Posted on July 19, 2010. Filed under: Astrology and Related Bunk,Internet Etiquette,Irony in the Title,Personal,Science,Trolls | Author’s Note:This post is a continuation of my previous post Daily Horoscope which can be found here. […]

[…] in the Title,Personal,Religion,Science | This will likely be my final post in the impromptu series Daily Horoscope based on our conversations with Jamie Funk and his astrology minions.  It might be […]

[…] My long and drawn out argument with astrologers over at Lousy Canuck became the impetus for some cross posts as well as a challenge with James Alexander that has not yet come to fruition.  My […]

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